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Eroico is a Brutal Old-School Lewd Platformer by Kyrieru
Okay, it’s time for you masochist fucks to come and gather round. You’re always talking shit about how games are too fucking easy for your elite gamer tastes. I hear you cucks bitching and whining about difficulty settings in shit like Dark Souls, because fuck other people who want to have fun, right? You gamers love gatekeeping more than a goddamn gargoyle. It’s in your blood. And anyone else who can’t step up to your level needs to stop being a little piss baby and “get gud.” If that sounds like you, then it’s time for you to step up to the plate and put your skills to the test with the game I’ve got for you today. Eroico is a seemingly simple action platformer with a charming art style and kickin’ soundtrack. But this game is not as simple and peaceful as it looks. This shit takes you back to old school difficulty levels akin to games like Ghosts and Goblins, but I’ll get into the nitty-gritty of the difficulty curve shortly. This game wrapped up development back in 2018 by a talented dude known as Kyrieru.
Try the Demo for Free or Pick up the Full Title for $7.99
He’s worked on a couple of other titles, all of which you can find over at Kyrieru.com. His other completed game is another awesome title called Aster, and you can keep up with the development of his other projects here as well. To get your hands on Eroico, you can either download a free demo directly from this site or dish out $7.99 to get the full copy from Steam. That’s right, he got this shit on Steam. That sets my expectations a bit higher going into this. This game doesn’t hold your hand. Hell, it doesn’t even tell you how to fucking play. You get to pick a difficulty setting and are thrown right into the first area of the game. Thankfully, the controls were semi-intuitive. You run around with WASD, jump with C, attack with V, and you use the arrow keys to move your shield around. It’s simple shit. And your first few encounters with be smooth sailing. You get to beat down some catgirls as you romp through a forest without much trouble.
Simple but Fun Platforming Action
But you’ll soon realize that this is an unforgiving game that doesn’t want you to fucking win. The “Normal” difficulty is something only a psychopath could consider fun and engaging. Trust me with this. I’m not bitch when it comes to challenging games. I live for that shit. But this game takes it to a level of insanity. Every death will set you back to the start of the level, but this level is fucking massive. There are dozens of enemies, traps, encounters, and all sorts of shit to set you back. You have to play perfectly to not lose your tiny shred of health before you get to the blessed checkpoint. Even the “easiest” difficulty was fucking rough. It doesn’t set you back as far, but enemies still do so much goddamn damage. I just can’t believe the regular difficulty sets you back so far since this is a game that’s about learning movement patterns through trial and error. It’s hard to do that when you lose 15 goddamn minutes of progress every time you die to some offscreen bullshit.
Frustrating Lose-to-Win Way of Unlocking Sex Scenes
At least the gameplay is smooth. This is some damn good platforming. So, at least your deaths aren’t being caused by janky mechanics or anything. Every movement feels smooth. It’s easy to gauge platform distances and read enemy moves. Once you get the hang of the enemies, then you’ll become a fucking machine. There are three lengthy stages to blast through as well as 15 different monster girls to do battle with. But, man, this game does something that I really fucking hate—you need to lose to get the fapworthy sex scenes. Fucking why? It especially sucks when the game is as brutal as this one is. Losing is a real setback, and most of us are here to blow a load. Why make that so hard? If you get hit by a slutty monster girl, then you’ll get knocked down on your ass. She’ll saunter over and ride your dick until you nut. From there, you can break free and keep fighting or submit. If you lose all of your HP, then you’ll unlock an uncensored hentai illustration of that monster girl getting fucked. But when you have to reset a whole level, is it even fucking worth it?
Jerk off to Hot, Uncensored Sex Scenes Full of Steamy Audio
The scenes are pretty fucking hot. Don’t get the wrong idea about that. Each one has some fluid animations, hot sound effects, and even some breathy moans to really help you get your rocks off. Thankfully, you can go back to the main menu and view these scenes at any time if you’ve experienced them once. The further you get into the game the kinkier these scenes get. You’ll start off by bending over a cat bitch and plowing her pussy, but you’ll soon have the tables turned by horny witches and vine girls that take your ass to pound town. One thing you fucks need to be careful of is saving your game. You can’t manually do it. Oh, and don’t even try to hit “escape” to get to a menu. That closes out the game without even giving you an “are you sure?” prompt. The game takes the old, frustrating approach of only saving at very sparsely placed checkpoints. So, yeah, settle in for a little while if you plan to get into this shit. You don’t want to have to walk away and lose a fucking hour of progress. Do I sound bitter? It’s because I am.
BestSexGame’s Favorite Features
The gameplay is so smooth. This is easily one of the best lewd platformers out there in terms of base mechanics. It feels good to play. You have a simple move set that doesn’t get too fucking complicated. You don’t need to worry about leveling up, buying equipment, or anything tedious like that. It ends up being a concentrated experience that sticks to just using what it needs to. There’s no fluff or any boring shit to get in the way of the fast-paced gameplay experience. And the sex scenes were hot as fuck. I loved the pixel-style animations that you get throughout the levels. They’re quick and fapworthy enough on their own to keep you invested. But the hot CGs are the real selling factor here. You get some incredibly detailed, HD illustrations that will have you fucking drooling when you see them. It does suck that you have to lose to get them, but at least you’ll get a decent jerk off sesh out of it.
The difficulty needs to be adjusted. It’s just not that fun with how fucking grueling it gets on the regular difficulty setting. Even a manual save option would fix it. I don’t want to have to cycle through the same 15 minutes of a level because I can’t make it all of the way to the end with the tiny shred of health that this game gives you. It’s fucking ridiculous. I also wish you could submit to enemies without losing. Let me click a button so that the enemies can fuck ride my cock without draining my hit points. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. After all, it is supposed to be a sex game.
BestSexGame’s Final Thoughts
Overall, Eroico is a damn good platformer that needs to be approached with caution. There’s no getting around the steep difficulty curve and die to fap sex scenes. Those are some big issues I have with this game, but I still think it’s worth your time. Hell, you can download a free demo of the game and see if you can handle it. Maybe I just fucking suck at it. It’s not likely, but it’s possible. Go download this kinky game full of uncensored, monster-girl fuck scenes, and show me how it’s done.
- Great controls & solid platforming fundamentals
- A vibrant world full of stunning art
- You can try it out for free!
- Uncensored hentai illustrations to fap to
- The incredibly steep difficulty curve
- You have to lose to get the sex scenes