HDoom

This is one of the weirdest porn games I’ve ever reviewed, period. There, that’s the whole review. Get the hell out of here. All right, fine, I’ll dig into the details. HDoom is a wad file for the original Doom, you know, the one from the 90s? A wad file is basically a total conversion for the game, that comes with its own assets, levels, monsters and damn near anything else that the mod developer wanted to swap out. Some mods are larger than others. HDoom is a total conversion. So, you’ll recognize the engine, but everything else has been turned into some sort of smut fuel.

This game is drowning in tits and pussy. So, how is it possible that I’m not bending over backwards to praise it? Surely a game that’s filled to the brim with female genitals must be great, right? Well… no, not really. As it turns out, I actually like my female genitals attached to actual human females. I mean, I like hentai babes, even though they don’t look like actual humans, but it’s still close enough. In HDoom, however, there are no human females. There are only monsters. – The same monsters from the original Doom, except now they’ve got breasts and pussies. All of them. And you get to fuck them, a lot. Does that sound sexy to you? It doesn’t sound particularly sexy to me. This is what I meant when I said that this is a weird ass game. But, I am an equal opportunity smut collector, so I guess I might as well give this game a fair shake. Let’s get into the details.

Shooting Aliens with Love

In the original Doom you had a bunch of guns that you could use to mow down baddies, presumably using lead bullets. There were also some lasers, if I recall correctly. Well, you get roughly the same weapons in this game, but they’ve been modded a bit. First up, they all have pink on them for some reason. I don’t get the connection between pink and smut. None of the pussies in the game are pink, but whatever. The guns here are more love guns than hate guns, as they don’t technically kill the baddies.

No, instead, they put them in a sex frenzy. When you down a baddie in this game, she goes down on her knees and fingers herself, moaning in ecstasy. Did I say she? That’s right, boys and girls. In HDoom, all of the aliens and demons that you fight are female. How do I know that for sure? Well, because they all have human pairs of tits on them. You read that right. They put actual human tits on every single alien in this game. Now, this works fine and well for the humanoid monsters that have two arms and two legs. We know where the vagina goes. But, what about the floating heads? Well, they are now floating heads… with dangling tits. There’s also a vagina back there somewhere, but it’s hidden away, so thank God for that.

Finishing Them Off

Modern Doom games will let you finish an enemy off by beating them to death or maybe removing their eye balls and shoving them down their throats. In HDoom, you get a different kind of finisher. If you down an enemy with one of your love guns, she goes down on her knees and becomes unstoppably horny. You can mosey on up to her and press the action button to whip out your cock and shove it up her snatch, instantaneously. Remember, demons and aliens can’t say no, so you can assume consent. Anyways, once you start dicking her, you get a few controls that let you enjoy the action. I’m guessing that this is the part of the game during which you’re expected to fap, if you’re going to be fapping at all. It’s hard to run, shoot and fap at the same time, so these scenes last for as long as you want them to. You don’t get shot while you’re fucking, the enemies just sort of wait their turn.

Weird Sex Scenes

So, we’ve established that all the enemies have tits, an ass and a pussy, regardless of whether or not they’re floating heads. But, they’re differently shaped, which means, you get different sexual positions. With the basic human-like monster, you know, the one with the spikes and the angry face, you get quite a few positions. You can take her from behind or hoist her on your dick. You can also get a nice blowjob that puts Doom Guy’s gigantic schlong on display. You can increase or decrease the speed at which you fuck her and even get some nice money shots. But, the scene is pretty much infinite until you interrupt it. So, you can jack off as long as you want before progressing. The different enemies come with different animations. I’ll talk about the flying eye now, finally. I can’t unsee the damn thing, it’s so unsettling. It’s a floating orb, with an eye and a pair of hanging tits that you fuck from behind, while the tits flop around. There. I don’t understand how this is anyone’s idea of sexy, but we live in a free world where everyone is allowed to make their dreams a reality.

RPG Potential

HDoom comes with the original Hell on Earth, reworked for smutty situations, with smutty guns and debatably sexy aliens. There’s also another level, though, called A Lady’s Chambers. I think that this is supposed to be a demo of what HDoom is going to be in the future, provided the developers update the damn thing. I’m not sure. Anyways, this part of the game makes use of some of Doom’s RPG potential, which we’ve seen in games like Strife. You get visual novel styled dialogues with full-screen high-quality 2D renders of the babes you’re talking to. I have to say, these are a lot hotter than their in-game counterparts. They actually look like fuckable babes. You can have some flirty conversations with them, but they don’t lead anywhere. The level also has some jokes sprinkled throughout, like a shotgun called ShotgunKun who says that she’s never been fired before. She also talks like a stereotypical hentai character. I don’t know whether this entire mod is one big inside joke or if it’s actually someone’s idea of a good time.

Finally, this room comes with a switch that you can flip to make a giant demon babe appear. I don’t know if she’s present in the base game, but you can find her easily in here, though you have to beat her down with a pillow. There are no usable guns in this section. She’s easy to beat down if you circle strafe around her. Once she goes down you can of course dick her. You get a similar animation to what you’ve already seen. You hoist her on your dick and cum inside her. Though, it’s kind of a cute scene, since she’s so gigantic it looks kind of ridiculous. I mean, you lift her off the ground and hoist her on your dick. If you drop her, that dick is coming clean off.

It’s Not Really Worth Playing

All right, maybe I’m being a bit harsh. Let’s look on the bright side first. This game does in fact have smut in it and you can jack off to it, with a bit of effort. There are a few sex scenes and, to be honest, I’ve jacked off to harder sells before. It’s not that pixelated and whoever the artist was that made this thing, they knew what they were doing. The scenes where you splooge onto the girl demons’ faces are kind of hot. The visual novel full-screen renditions of the babes are also worth a shot or two. But, overall, the game isn’t actually worth playing because it’s not really a game. It’s a visual wad that changes some of the game’s aesthetic. But, there’s no new gameplay. You don’t get a sexy storyline or any reason to care about these babes.

Once you’ve fucked each type of enemy once, that’s it. You’ve seen everything else that the game has to offer and from that point onward, you’re just playing the original Doom. Except, there’s only one level and all the guns are pink. What’s the point of that? I’d say that HDoom is a great proof of concept, at the very least. It can be a great game, especially if they sprinkle in a ton of those visual novel interactions and maybe write a bit of a story. It could work quite well. But, in its current state, HDoom is more of a joke than a smut title. Hell, it might be better as a form of comedy than a work of adult fiction. Either way, it’s free, so you have nothing to lose by trying it out.