If My Heart Had Wings

It’s time for a tear jerker, boys and girls. This here hentai visual novel is a real romantic romp through some heartwarming sexual situations that will leave you feeling melancholic and moody. So, why would you even consider playing a game like If My Heart Had Wings? I don’t know, you might be a chick or maybe you’re the kind of guy whose idea of sexy has something to do with female empowerment and talking about your feelings. I’d call that shit gay, but the truth is, gay men fuck harder and with less complication than even yours truly. So, this game must be made for beta males and women. Either way, I’m Mr. Impartial when it comes to porn game reviews, so I gave it a decent run and it wasn’t too bad. The game has a lot to offer. It’s one of those complete experiences that you can only really get from proper hentai game studios. It’s no indie piece, I’ll tell you that much. It’s got a vibe of all-around quality, from the art to the sound production. Granted, it’s all in Japanese, but the text is English and the translation holds up, so you get a decent experience out of the game. I think it’s worth playing, even if you’re not technically into romantic shit. At the very least, you can get through one playthrough and if you just skip to the sexy parts, no-one will know.

The Art Style

Let’s start with something light and breezy – the visuals. This game gives me strong modern anime vibes. Everything’s bright and vibrant with strong contrasting colors. The characters are all very sharp with gigantic bug eyes in flat colors that really stick out and shine, as if the damn girls are radioactive or some shit. It’s a very modern and standard anime style, which is technically also the modern go-to for hentai, if you think about it. They go hand in hand. As for the naughty bits, well, the girls are cuter than they are hot, I’ll start there. If My Heart Had Wings is the kind of game that you primarily play for the story, not the pussy. So, everything’s got this kind of casual high school vibe, although all the characters are supposedly 18 and up. It’s crisp, clear and the babes all look like they’re just minding their own business. They’re not boner candy, is what I’m trying to say. That being said, they are hot as shit. Their tits especially warrant some attention. They’re large, round, firm and above all they are very perky. I’d like me a pair of tits like these, I won’t lie. The environments to this game are damn gorgeous, though and I gotta get this out of the way. There’s at least some amount of sky or grass fields throughout most of the game and its damn enjoyable to stare at. It gives me strong zen vibes. This is the kind of game you play to detox after a long, stressful day. Sure, the story has a ton of tragic moments, but overall it’s all kind of bittersweet. I like games that bathe my monitor in sunlight and blue skies and there are a lot of blue skies in If My Heart Had Wings. Coincidentally, this game is also a great way to test new monitor setups and color balance.

The Story

Oh boy, here we go again. This story is really original and inspiring, but the setup is so fucking generic it hurts. You play as a random young dude with no real discerning characteristics. You’re boring, generic and not at all memorable. Your biggest asset is the fact that you accidentally become surrounded by babes, by returning to your hometown and joining the local soaring club. What is a soaring club, I hear you ask? Well, it’s a group of babes whose dream it is to figure out a way to fly through a very specific type of cloud that only appears under certain weather conditions. These chicks literally get together to build gliders that they can use to float into clouds. My high school had a drama club and a football team, but I guess in Japan you get a club that dead ass lets you build and operate planes. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the main babe in this game is wheelchair bound. She’s the first person you meet in the game. You have a sort of meet-cute in a grass field and you bond with each other in awkward ways that are typical of Japanese stories. It’s supposed to be some sort of melancholic symbolism – she can’t walk because her legs are broken so she’s going to fly, metaphorically, by riding on your cock. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to yeet her into the sky atop a glider, right? Anyways, the whole point of the story is that you join the club and get to know the girls all in efforts to help them succeed in actually soaring among the clouds. For every babe you get an entire storyline, so there’s some branching to these scenes. But, overall, the story is the same through each playthrough, for the most part. You’re basically playing If My Heart Had Wings in order to get to know these chicks, get under their skin, figure out how they think and help them solve all of their problems. It’s the ultimate beginner’s guide to nurturing co-dependent relationships. Just find yourself a girl with a problem and convince her that she can find all the solutions in the world at the bottom of your cock. She just has to suck hard enough.

A Real Tear Jerker

I mentioned that this game is melancholic and more about story than it is about pussy. I stand by this statement – this game was made to make you feel hard emotions about life and love. That’s why I think you’re better off playing literally anything else if you’re shopping for a quick fap. This game is the polar opposite of quick. It takes many hours to get through and it’s going to blue-ball you to death if you’re waiting to see pussy on screen. I play porn games for regular jerks, not tear jerks. But then again, this isn’t a porn game. It’s an adult visual novel, which is apparently an important distinction. Hell, the Steam version doesn’t even let you have any smut scenes. They even modded out the goddamn kissing scenes in that version and it’s the most popular way of purchasing the game. Fan reviews say that the best way to enjoy this game is to download a custom fan translation of the original Japanese game and I have to agree. In that one, you get 100% of the originally intended story with all of the sex scenes and none of the censorship. Plus, the translations are a bit more accurate, because weeb fans take their Japanese to English translations very seriously. Conversely, if you’re boring or a woman, you could just buy the Steam version and play If My Heart Had Wings for the love and romance. Or, maybe you’re just the kind of lonely soul who wants to role-play as a guy whom women actually like. Either way, the game’s available in several different packages. I’ll be sticking to the version that’s the most fap-worthy and that’s the Japanese to English fan translation.

The Sex Scenes

You know me, I always save the best for last. The sex scenes in If My Heart Had Wings are a strong 5 out of 10 for me. I’d rank them higher, but God how I hate talking to women for hours on end. It’s my absolute worst fucking nightmare. These girls are interesting and all, but they literally take ten times longer to bed than actual women. Who the hell wants that? Right, the sex scenes. Well, they’re hot. The sex is hardcore, the pussies are taut, the boobs are firm and the girls are cock-hungry sluts who are willing to bed you and only you, provided you solve all of their problems first. Plus, you get to bang a chick in a wheelchair and who doesn’t want that? The reason I rate them a 5 is because they’re ridiculously vanilla. Seriously, it’s like watching actual 18 year olds have sex which, believe you me, is not at all hot. They’re inexperienced, they’re dull and they’re constantly talking about their feelings. This is the polar opposite of sexy. I’d recommend this game to you if it wasn’t so fucking bland and innocent. But, if you’re in the market for a real tear jerker of a story, then I give this game high marks. The folks on Steam seem to have gotten a hell of a kick out of it, since it’s rated as Very Positive, so who knows? Maybe you’ll enjoy it.