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You know what I usually say about RPG Maker games sucking ass? Well, that doesn’t count for Legend of Queen Opala. This is a good porn game. In fact, it’s so good, that it’s got a gigantic fan following as well as not one but two sequels. Although, I’m pretty sure the third one’s a prequel or something, because it’s got origins in its name. Anyways, all three of them are fucking perfect. I’m mostly going off of what I enjoyed in the first game, but I’ll mention all three of them here and there. So what is The Legend of Queen Opala? Well, it’s a very Egyptian RPG with standard RPG mechanics. It’s an RPG Maker game after all. There’s not much they can do to innovate. I’ve seen some developers try to script around the engine, but this game is a cookie cutter RPG. What you see is what you get. That means a lot of 2D assets with 2D smut and 2D combat. The combat is turn based and it drags on. It really makes you want to end your own miserable existence. But then you see some titties and you feel like you want to live again, so I guess it’s fair and balanced.
Welcome to Egypt
You play as a random dude who manages to weasel his way into the royal palace where the titular Queen Opala resides. You quickly discover that there’s a foul plot afoot – the queen’s sister is planning to kidnap her so that she can take the throne. You manage to get to the queen and inform her of this and the story just sort of takes off from there. You impress the queen by basically saving her life and you become her hero. You spend the rest of the game getting her to like you more and more, mostly by going around the realm and killing random bandits in the wilds. What’s an RPG porn game without pointless experience grinding, am I right? I can’t say I’ve played any other porn game that was this obsessed with Egypt. I guess it’s some sort of Cleopatra fetish. A lot of people throughout history have jacked off to her image as far as I know. The first thing I ever learned about Cleopatra was that she was hot as hell. So, Opala is very much a tribute to that fantasy. The world, too, is very Egyptian across the board. From the textures, to the architecture to the culture. It feels like a true testament to what it was like to live in Ancient Egypt. Though, I doubt there was nearly as much random raunchy sex. I mean, I know that royals fucked like rabbits, I just doubt they let random dudes into the palace to fuck the queen. You’re arguably the luckiest guy to ever find himself living in Egypt throughout all of fictional history. You manage to one up Caesar himself.
One of the reasons I don’t hate this game is that the writing is actually proper. What I mean by that is, characters feel real. They don’t just fuck around the place until they’re ready to take your cock. They have personality and they have aspirations. The cock sucking comes naturally, and so do you, when you get your cock sucked by the queen. But, you have a long way to go before she agrees to get naughty with you. Along the way, you meet a ton of likable characters and some that will straight up make your skin crawl. On top of that, there’s a ton of opportunity to craft your own story. The game is entirely open-world. You can go damn near anywhere you please and do pretty much whatever you want. There are tons of conversations where saying the wrong thing can land you in some hot water. All the important NPCs remember what you’ve said to them and this dictates where you end up. You can get inside a lot of panties if you know how to smooth talk the ladies. There are also detailed pages on the game’s official wiki that tell you what to say and to whom in order to get all the pussy. I don’t know if you can unlock all the sex scenes in one playthrough, but feel free to consult the wiki for that. All I know is, the choices you make are really interesting and the game goes a long way towards making you feel like you’re actually earning the pussy. You’re not just fucking around beating people up; you’re making a difference in people’s lives. As for the fact that your only motivation is to get your dick sucked, well, that’s just how men operate. No excuses. Gotta get that dick wet by any means necessary.
Amazing Sex Scenes
What this game lacks in sexy gameplay it more than makes up for in amazing sex scenes. These aren’t blow-your-mind fantastic, mind you, but they’re extremely well made and you can tell they were crafted with care. The sex scenes are hot, no matter who you’re fucking or where you’re sticking your cock. The babes all have massive tits and asses and the action is drawn in a very smutty way. They’re always craving the cock, you can tell. Plus, there’s cum spatters, sweat, pussy juice and all kinds of other goodies sprinkled across the art. Every single scene is a fapworthy wallpaper, albeit with a bit of a retro vibe. They’re not exactly high resolution renditions, that’s the problem. The first game in the series really suffers because of this. The sequels are much better and they up the production quality of the smut, but the original can feel a little janky at times. Speaking of…
Janky Technical Stuff
First up, you have to get Windows XP compatibility software to run this RPG Maker game, because they used the XP version of the engine. As if that weren’t bad enough, you need an emulator to play it properly on Android, if you’re a mobile gaming fan. Plus, the game can bug out if you have compatibility issues and playing it on Linux is a fucking nightmare. Either way, once you actually manage to get it working, it should run just fine until the very end. Luckily, there’s a remake of the original called the golden version which is much easier to run and generally looks a lot better. I swear, some of the textures used for the enemies in this game look so bad that they literally make me want to turn the damn thing off. Plus, to get anything done in the game you have to get past combat. Boss scenes in particular are a fucking nightmare. You’ll often have to backtrack and go farm for experience in order to be able to face the bosses. But, if you farm too much, they turn into pushovers. So, the game isn’t so much a challenge as it is a grind fest. I wholeheartedly recommend that you find a way to cheat the combat. Maybe you can get some sort of cheat patch for it. The combat does not improve the experience in any way. It just gets in the way of the good parts. The game already has great dialogue, story and smut. It doesn’t need fighting mechanics.
A Cult Classic
For some reason this game has garnered a huge following of fans that won’t shut up about The Legend of Queen Opala. On top of that, there are countless porn artists who are making porn tributes to the damn thing in both 2D and 3D. I found countless videos and pictures of Queen Opala getting dicked. At first I thought these were from the actual game. Nope. People are actually bending over backwards to make more Opala themed content. I guess the game really struck a chord. As far as RPG porn games go, this one is up there with the greats. Sure, it feels like a cheap Breath of Fire knockoff at times, but then you get to the next sex scene and you remember what you’re in for. You’re here for the sweet Egyptian pussy. So, by all means feel free to get your hands on Legend of Queen Opala and both the sequels. You can skip the original release and go for the golden edition without missing anything, so I’d recommend that route. The games are all free to play, thanks to the fact that the developers are making money hand over fist over on Patreon. If you become one of these diehard fans of Legend of Queen Opala, make sure to stop by the Patreon page and dump some regular pocket money. I’m sure they’ll appreciate every cent they can get. Porn developers deserve to be rewarded for all their hard work – they’re the reason we’re so hard at work all the time, after all.
- Amazing sex scenes
- Two sequels already out
- Open-world gameplay
- Fleshed out story
- Shitty combat system