Malise And The Machine

This is a weird one, boys and girls. Malise And The Machine is inspired by JRPGs and RPG Maker games, but it is absolutely not one of them. It’s new, improved and of a slightly higher quality. It’s still a turn based nightmare, though. But, there’s pussy. There’s tons of pussy. So, I recommend this game. Don’t worry we’ll dive into the details. This game is a sci-fi romp through some pretty dangerous ships and space stations that are filled to the brim with dangerous biological machinery. What does that mean? Well, it means that wherever you go, the environment wants to fuck you. Oh, you see a vagina shaped flower in a nearby wall? Yeah, that’s an enemy. It’s also got tentacles and it wants to get up your asshole. Better cover up. The game has a bunch of RPG elements that are kind of generic, but executed in a fun and original way. It’s definitely several leagues above the cookie cutter RPG Maker games I review on the daily. However, there are a lot of corners cut and you can kind of tell. There are many parts of Malise And The Machine that feel rushed and kind of … unpolished, I guess? The game feels janky at times, but at least it works well, from beginning to… well the middle. That’s right, I tricked you. This game, like half of all unique porn games out there is dead in the water. Oh, the developers are fine, they’re still making games. They’ve just abandoned their flagship title. So is Malise And The Machine worth playing at all? Let’s dig into the details.

Great Start, Went Downhill

I think it was almost five years ago when this game first came out. There wasn’t a lot of gameplay to show off and the story was just being written for the first time, but everyone was sort of taken aback by how hot the bitches were in this game. Also, the game was a standard 2D RPG, but it featured these hot-ass 3D renders that were constantly on screen and they had a bunch of different animations. Suffice it to say, people were in love with Malise And The Machine. They wanted to play it, they wanted to fap to it. The developers had clearly struck gold. Their Patreon was taking off and they were bringing the regular updates. Well, they got to version 0.0511, which is code for “Not even close to finished”. Then, they made a spinoff. A fighting game set in the same universe as Malise And The Machine. That’s all well and good, but we kind of wanted to see more of the actual game. Well, they clearly didn’t give a shit. They haven’t updated this game in almost two years. I just can’t wrap my mind around this. You have an amazing porn game that everyone loves, so you abandon it right as shit is getting hot to make another porn game that’s a spinoff of the game that everyone wants, knowing that people will hate this and stop giving you money. Who in their right mind thought this was a good idea? Well, the developers, I guess. So, Malise And The Machine is now dead. But, we have version 0.0511 and there’s more than an hour of gameplay inside this bad boy, with a ton of special features for you to unlock. Even as a short playable demo, this game is just bursting with potential. I’m really fucking sad about the fact that they abandoned it.

The Story

Ok I’m not quite sure what the fuck is going on, because when I play games that have titties and hardcore penetration I kind of zone out. What I do remember is that you get to play as this amazingly hot blond bombshell who is also a space warrior of some sort. She’s really good at handling all kinds of weaponry and if she gets raped by seven tentacles at a time, she’ll shrug it off and move on. So, she’s a real professional. A proper trooper if you will. I also remember that soon after the start of the game you meet up with this other babe who decides to join you on your quest to kick ass. Well, along the way the two of you get in all kinds of trouble. Once in a while you’ll run into some enemy babes who look innocent and fuck-worthy, but they pull guns on you so they must be mowed down. But, most of the time you’re either fighting vagina-tentacle monsters or military robots. I am not quite sure what the fuck is going on, but the story worked well enough to keep me interested, without me having to ask any deeper questions. I was focused on the tits, to be honest.

A Damn Fine Game

I’ve kind of seen other porn games with a similar story to Malise And The Machine, but they really used the art direction to take it a step further. The original inspiration was clearly Metroid. I mean, you play as a kick-ass female space soldier who explores strange alien compounds while shooting down waves of baddies who are trying to knock her down. Well, take that concept, add the fact that everything is trying to fuck you and remove the repetitive platforming gameplay and you’ve got Malise And The Machine. This game looks kind of like an RPG Maker title at first, but as far as I can tell, they kind of coded their own scripts for this bad boy. So, no premade assets and combat systems. Instead, you get a 2D overworld with high quality assets. No retro Nintendo nonsense. You navigate the world and once you reach an important point in the story, you either have a cutscene or a combat encounter. Now, the combat is clearly Final Fantasy inspired, but it’s that particular type of turn-based combat where you also have to click the buttons in time. So, there’s always a sense of urgency, when you think about it. This is great for the boner. I like being excited at all times, no matter what I’m doing.

The Combat

This part’s absolutely fantastic. First of all, you get to see your character and later the secondary character on screen at all times. They’re both gorgeous babes with their unique art and animations. Plus, whenever anything happens, whether you’re attacking or getting hit, you see their avatars animate. So, when they get hit their shirts come flying off and you get to stare at their titties for the rest of the encounter. If they take too much damage, they’ll get anally brutalized by some alien tentacles, because why the fuck not. They just sort of take it with stride. It’s their job to fight aliens. The threat comes with the territory. So, they shrug it off and move on. This is fucking awesome. On the one hand, I’m focused on winning, on the other hand I’m jacking it as hard as I can because these babes are amazing. And, just when you thought the smut was over, you’ll wing a combat encounter and get a cutscene which comes with even more smut for you to jack off to. The fun never fucking ends with this game. Plus, the whole fucking timed attacks system makes everything so much more enjoyable. You’re no longer picking attacks from a list. You’re casting attacks with your fingertips and you see shirts flying off and girls getting fucked in all of their holes. If that’s not a proper motivator, then I don’t know what is.

The Sexy Graphics

Where do I fucking begin? Almost 90% of this entire game has you staring at hot titties. Sure, they’re clothed… sometimes. But, you take a couple of hits and bam, naked chicks. Plus, all of the smut is animated so even during combat, you can jack off to the girls’ hot bodies and amazing tight holes as they’re being penetrated by countless tentacle monsters and aliens with giant cocks. The graphics are somewhere between futuristic cyberpunk and standard western 3D porn art. You’ll find them kind of familiar if you’ve played other 3D pre-rendered games. It’s a popular trend. Anyways, both of the girls are absolute 10s. Their tits are large and supple, their bodies are tight and their asses could eclipse the sun. I want these babes in my bedroom tonight, all right? They can bring guns if they want, I’m not easily scared. As for the rest of the game, well, it’s kind of a mixed bag. The backdrops are static and 2D, but the enemies seem kind of … faux-3D, if that’s even a thing. Either way, there are no bad parts of Malise And The Machine except for the part at the end where you realize that 99% of the game isn’t finished yet.