Mysteria Lane

Mysteria Lane is a Puzzle-Based Lewd Strategy Game by Selectacorp

I like games that give me control. I don’t want to simply be along for the ride in some insane quest or plotline. For example, I fucking love visual novels. There are some absolute bangers on the market. But so many of them are just readable movies without any player agency. I want choices, and I don’t want just two or three of them. I want to make decisions every step of the way. I want to be able to fail as well as succeed, otherwise why the fuck am I playing a game? I could read a goddamn erotic novel if I wanted a story hand-fed to me.

Mysteria Lane is a lewd strategy adventure game by the infamous developer known as Selectacorp. I say infamous because these fucks just keep on pumping these games out. You may know them from their other titles State of the Union, Corporate Raider, Spoils of War, and Exec2Sec: Suits to Skirts. See? They have a fuck ton of these games. And it seems like they’re more determined than ever to keep pumping them out.

Play this Completed Game in Browser or Download it for Free!

But quantity doesn’t always equal quality. So, let’s look at this game a little closer. This project wrapped up towards the end of 2016, so it’s one of their older titles. You’ll want to head on over to Selectacorp.dk and navigate to Mysteria Lane to get your hands on this game. It’s free. You can choose to play online or download it with no strings attached. Consider dishing out some dosh over at Patreon.com/SelectaCorp if you want some bonuses or if you want to follow along with all of the development logs.

You start out with a short overview of who you are and what the fuck is going on in the story. You were some corporate cuck who got canned by a feminist coworker because you were being, well, a bastard. The game tries to frame it like your coworker is some bitch who ruined your life and career, but you groped her tits. Like, what the hell did you expect, a medal and a raise? Yeah, not in this climate, pal. Maybe that shit flew in the 90s, but you’re shit out of luck now.

Start Fresh in a New City & Build Your Business from the Ground Up

Anyway, you tuck your tail between your legs and flee for a new start with your family. You’ve got a fresh house, new neighbors, and a town to explore. It’s your job to be a provider and get your office running again. Now, this game doesn’t take your standard visual novel or RPG approach where you have to go out and talk to every slut with a pulse to figure out what to do next. No, this game is even more aimless. It took me fucking forever to figure out how to proceed, and I wasn’t even fapping. You horny fucks will be screwed without a walkthrough.

Seriously, this game gives you no indication for what you need to be doing. You’re given control and told to have fucking at it. All that you’re told is that you want to keep your charisma and dominance stats high if you want sluts to fuck you.

Aimless Start With Little Direction Can be Frustrating as Fuck

I kept going to locations only to find out that I needed some sort of phrase to enter. What the fuck? Alright, I went looking. It’s not easy to find this shit. You have to go to your office space and click the little buttons on the bottom of the screen to pull up flyers. The secret phrases are in those. Yeah, that was incredibly intuitive. Good fucking job with that game design. That was so much fun. I know some of you cucks struggle with social cues, so I’ll lay it out for you—that was sarcasm.

The game also looks weird. It’s got this strange minty color scheme that makes it feel like a bathroom from the 70s. The icons are alright, but I just couldn’t get with the visual design at all. The world map looks like clip art, and some of the other menus are grainy and look strange. It’s hard to pin down exactly what’s wrong with them, but this game just feels off to some degree. But maybe you guys will think differently.

Plenty of Choices to Make & Puzzles to Solve

There were also some easily exploitable bugs that let me max out my stats right from the start, so that sort of undermines the entire premise of the game once you discover those. The writing is alright. You get lots of it, and it doesn’t tend to be riddled with errors or anything like that. Though it did feel stilted and lacked finesse during some moments. Though I will say that you get plenty of dialog choices once you do start meeting babes. You can even go an incest route if you want to fuck your family as well as the hotties you meet across town.

Eventually, the game picks up a little bit. Your goals will become clearer. You’ll get more choices to make. But, man, the start of this game is just so goddamn confusing. It’s like trying to find a girl without daddy issues at a rave. It’s fucking impossible. But at least the game gets some direction as you get further into it. If you put the time in, then you might find yourself invested in some of the strange story twists that this game throws at you.

Fap to Dozens of Sexy, Uncensored Porn Gifs

But what about the fap material? I know that you sex-starved cucks are clamoring to get the details about these sex scenes. Well, if you like 480p porn gifs then you’re in luck because those will make up the majority of the scenes you get. You get some erotic text to go along with them, but porn gifs will be your main source of fap material in this game. Granted, there are some kinky ones scattered in here. There’s a solid bit of BDSM fetish content for you horny cucks to enjoy.

BestSexGame’s Favorite Features

I liked what this game was trying to do. The idea of a lewd puzzle-solving game about infidelity, corporate blackmail, and all of that good shit has a lot of potential for being a damn good time. And the focus of the game is on the porn. You can’t fucking deny that. You’re getting hit with sexy images and gifs every few minutes in this title. You can’t get away from all of the fap material that this game throws your way. I just wish that material was a little better. Who the fuck remembers all of these porn stars from 5+ years ago? Going the gif and image route really ages a game quickly.

BestSexGame’s Suggestions

This game could use a lot of reworking. It was one of the first projects and simply wasn’t executed as cleanly as it could have been. The visuals are janky. There are some noticeable bugs and exploits that should very well have been patched out during the alpha phase of development. The start of the game feels aimless and needlessly vague. I want direction. I want a clear story to follow. I want dynamic characters. And, unfortunately, this game doesn’t offer any of that. The porn could have been a saving grace, but even that ends up being lackluster when compared to other free titles out there.

BestSexGame’s Final Thoughts

Overall, Mysteria Lane is a decent game that can offer you a few hours of playtime. I mean, it’s fucking free. I can’t say it will be the most riveting game out there, but you’ll get some decent fap material along the way. Not every game can say that, right? Okay, I may be reaching a little bit here. I liked the premise, but the execution was way off. If you’re looking to just try it out for yourself, then go ahead and give it a go. I can’t say that you will all love it or anything. It’s a fairly average experience. You might want to take a peek at some of their newer work.