Unholy Distaster

Unholy Disaster is a Lewd Sidescrolling Platformer by Unholy Creations

Alright you horny weebs, I’m trusting you this time around. I keep showing you fucks hot platformers and exploration games that you fucks slam down because they aren’t from the fabled land of fetishism known as Japan. Well, fuck it. I went digging around for a kinky Japanese game that would stop the incessant emails about “waifus being better” and “hentai being the salvation of mankind.” I’ll be honest, searching through this shit wasn’t that much different than Western titles—most of them looked like dogshit. Thankfully, I think I may have found a hidden gem.

The game I have for you horny gamers today is called Unholy Disaster. It’s a lewd Metroidvania-style platformer that came out in March of 2018. Lucky for you fucks, this game is actually finished. You won’t have to sit there twiddling your thumbs while waiting for updates to come out years down the line. For better or worse, you get the complete experience. Now, before I get into anything else I want to tell you fappers that this game is censored. Sorry. Japan’s censorship laws strike once more. Just keep that in mind if you plan to go ahead and download this game.

Download the Full Game on Steam for $12.99!

Unholy Creations is the name of the studio that developed the game, and these fucks actually managed to get this thing on Steam. It’s got some pretty positive reviews, so that’s pretty promising. You will have to dish out $12.99 to get the game from Steam. I know you cheap fucks are already cringing at the thought of spending money on anything aside from waifu body pillows, but stick with me here and you might just find that this game is worth the price.

You play as a busty blonde broad named Clementine who is a novice priestess who serves something called “the spirit of water.” It sounds like a cult to me, but that doesn’t really change much. You go down to the bowels of the temple to meet the spirit for the first time as part of a ritual to become a fully-fledged priestess of Aqua. You’re about to get dicked down by the lustful water spirit when all hell breaks loose. I mean that literally. Monsters start crashing in through the walls, and you have to fight your way out to the surface with your newly gained combat powers.

Explore Vast 2D Levels Full of Monsters, Traps, and Treasure

This is where you gain control. Like I mentioned up top, this is a platformer. You’ll need to navigate around and fight enemies and avoid traps that come your way. The controls are fairly simple, and you can even use a game-pad if you’ve got one sitting around the house. It functions like a classic arcade side-scroller. You want to avoid dying and running out of lives or it will be game over. Exploring areas and finding secrets will give you upgrades, stat bonuses, items, and new magical abilities. You’ll need to do some classic Metroidvania-style backtracking to make sure you find all of the good shit.

But this game does something that I really fucking hate—it makes you lose to get the sex scenes. Losing will send you way back to your last checkpoint, but you need to fucking lose if you want to jerk off to Clementine getting raped by horny tentacle monsters. It doesn’t make any damn sense. Thankfully, plugging in the Konami Code on the main title screen will unlock every scene in the game. No, I’m not kidding.

Fairly Solid Story, Writing, Characters, and Audio Design

For a game that’s been translated over from Japanese, the writing is fairly decent. There were some weird errors and odd lines, but most of the game reads smoothly. The story isn’t anything incredibly in-depth, but it is full of corruption themes. I know you horny bastards love that shit. You’ll get to watch as your righteous priestess slowly starts falling from grace and becoming a degenerate cum-slut who just wants to get dicked down by hung monsters. That formula just never seems to get old.

The game is separated into stages. Fight through mobs until you get to the boss. After that, rinse and repeat until you beat the game. But, mechanically, it doesn’t always play out like that. There’s no a lot of incentive for actually fighting mobs. More end up spawning, and it’s not like they give you experience points. And, man, this game loves to frame-drop. Some points of this game were like a goodman slide show. It shouldn’t be that hard to optimize a 2D side-scroller. That’s something that should have been fixed and worked out before launch.

Great Controls Make Gameplay Feel Sleek & Smooth

Even though there were framerate issues, the game controls well. Many other lewd platformers end up feeling super clunky and awkward to control. This shit felt crisp. Movements, jumps, and attacks all felt clean. It was easy to gauge jump distances and where enemies were going to move. That may sound like super basic shit, but it’s some of the most important stuff when it comes to making any sort of platformer. So many other games don’t seem to get this basic shit right, so it was nice to see a game pay attention to the core mechanics.

Fap to Fully-Animated & Voiced Monster Rape Fetish Scenes

But let’s get to what all of you sex-starved weeaboos have been waiting for—the sex scenes. The most common scenes that you’ll run across will be the monster rape scenes. Once you lose HP, your character will get knocked down and fucked silly. These are all done in a fluid pixel style that I really enjoyed. There are some crazy hot extreme fetish scenes peppered through the game. These scenes will be full of hot cries, moans, and gasps as Clementine is pounded raw. The other scenes will be censored hentai-style illustrations that are also incredibly fapworthy if you don’t mind the pixelation.

BestSexGame’s Favorite Features

I’m always down for a quality platformer. This game might not be as polished or have as high-quality visuals as some games out there, but they nail the basics. It feels good to play. The movement and controls make sense. The world is full of fun platforming, combat, and intense as fuck boss battles. Oh, and all of the music in this game was recorded live. You don’t get that in most games these days. Talk about going the extra mile for that little bit of additional immersion.

Oh, and the sex scenes were pretty fucking great, too. These scenes are so fucking good. I didn’t even mind that they were censored. It’s not like you can tell when most of the scenes are, well, pixel porn scenes anyway. And this game has a bit of fetish content for all of you degenerates. Expect rape, pain, ahegao, corruption, tentacles, and all of that good shit. They cover all of the important kinks without making it too hardcore or extreme for the average cuck to sit down and jerk off to.

BestSexGame’s Suggestions

Despite the sex scenes being fucking amazing, I hated that you had to lose to get them. That defeats the whole purpose of trying to do well at the game in the first place. You end up having to pick between fapping or losing all of your goddamn progress over the last hour. This game isn’t always generous with checkpoints, so that can get to be a major pain in the ass. Thankfully, that’s my only major complaint about the game. I do wish that it was uncensored, but that’s pretty much impossible when it comes to Japanese titles like this one.

BestSexGame’s Final Thoughts

Overall, Unholy Disaster is definitely a game worth playing. The only thing stopping me from calling it a must-play is that $12.99 price tag. It’s a fantastic game, but I feel like that may be a little steep. I’d definitely recommend going for it if it were under the $10 range. It’s just that the censored scenes and lose to win gameplay can be pretty damn frustrating for some people. If you’ve got a little extra dosh sitting around and want to rub yourself raw to some high-quality monster rape fetish scenes, then go give this game a shot!